Two of our team members returned from a game convention in Sweden where they showed off our game, and they brought back actual Pillars of Eternity chocolate bars! How stoked was I?!
The bar’s label was beautiful and showed off our logo and cover art very well.
I opened it up, eager to get to the chocolate inside!
What was this?! There was some other chocolate bar inside! This was just a repackaged Swedish milk chocolate bar! The brand was Marabou and the bar’s name was Daim.
I was outraged! This wasn’t Pillars of Eternity specialty chocolate, perhaps molded into our logo and wrapped in paper resembling adra stone! It was a regular, normal, run-of-the-mill store-bought bar! And do you know what the worst thing was? The bar was pretty good!
Yes, that’s right! I couldn’t even dislike the bar, because the milk chocolate was rich and tasty, and there was buttery almond toffee bits throughout it to give it some crunch. I wanted it to be terrible, to serve as the cherry of spite on my ice cream sundae of indignation, but it wasn’t. I liked it.
So there you have it. My first chocolate bar for a video game, and it was pretty good. Sneaky wrapper yes, but good chocolate.
After the really good Ikea dark chocolate bar, I decided to try one of their milk chocolate bars.
This bar was not very good. The milk chocolate was drab and somewhat tasteless, which was not a surprise for a 26% cacao bar. There were some chopped up hazelnut bits in the chocolate, but even they couldn’t save this bar from being lackluster at best. After their great dark chocolate bar, the Mörk, I was very disappointed in the Nöt. The name says it all to me.
My co-worker Matt K. went to IKEA one weekend with his family, and he picked up this chocolate bar for a tasting meeting.
Inside this plain, unassuming wrapper was a very good dark chocolate bar! It had an earthy roasted flavor that I usually only taste in single-origin bars. A quick check online revealed that its cacao percentage is only 60%, which surprised me. I would have guessed a little higher.
I love the name too. It sounds like the Swedish chef from the Muppet Show trying to say “chocolate milk”, or maybe the chocolate bar that Mork from Ork used to eat. And yes, both of those references date me.
I am not a fan of milk chocolate, and I am quite vocal about this. I find most milk chocolate to be bland, chalky and overly salty. I am surprised when people offer me milk chocolate, but I appreciate the kindness, and their labels do expand my collection.
On the other hand, my favorite chocolates tend to be bars with nuts in them, with almonds and hazelnuts at the front of the pack. I think nuts just pair well with chocolate, and I have often taken plain chocolate bars that I wasn’t eating or that had bloomed and melted them with almonds to make almond bark. Hmm, that’s delicious stuff right there.
So I was surprised to come across some chocolate nut bars that I didn’t like. The first was a gift from a co-worker, Kurt.
Kurt got this bar from a friend, and I thought “cool, my first Swedish chocolate”! But one bite into it and my thought changed to “this is kinda gross”. The chocolate was very light-colored and not very chocolatey, and despite having a lot of crushed hazelnuts mixed into it, the bar was too bland for my liking. Sorry Sweden…but thanks Kurt.
The next bar is one I bought from another co-worker, Sharon. I think she was selling these to help her sister in high school.
This unbranded “Premium” chocolate was terrible. It was dry and crumbly, and the whole bar had maybe three almonds in it. I hope my money went to a good cause, but I wasn’t about to buy another one of these, much less eat one.